self-love is great. But have you met your real Self?

self-love at the level of individuality is a narrow philosophy. The real Self is Infinite.

Almost every day, I come across blogs and articles preaching self-love. More often than not, they boil down to one message: prioritize yourself, don’t worry about others. In essence, it’s a socially acceptable version of selfishness, framed as the key to happiness. And at a surface level, it works. If you’re drained from work and need a break, carving out some “me time” makes perfect sense.

But as a philosophy of long-term well-being, this approach falls short because it makes a fundamental mistake: it assumes the “self” is just this one person, this one body, this one mind.

The problem isn’t selfishness; it’s the size of the self we’re being selfish about.

Imagine you’re leading a team of five people. Your sense of self naturally expands if you’re truly invested in your role. You stop thinking of yourself as an isolated individual. Instead, your well-being becomes intertwined with your team’s. Their successes feel like your successes. Their struggles feel like yours, too. At first, this might seem overwhelming, as if you’re carrying extra weight. But in reality, this expansion of self brings a deeper kind of joy—the kind that arises when you step beyond the narrow confines of your own mind and body.

It’s the same joy you feel when you’re genuinely kind to someone—not out of obligation, but because you truly care. Think about that warm, unspoken fulfillment when you help a friend in need. Or the quiet satisfaction of mentoring someone younger. Or even the simple delight of feeding a stray animal. In those moments, your sense of “I” stretches beyond personal borders. The more we expand, the more alive we feel.

And here’s the real insight: this expansion is self-love, too—just not the kind that’s limited to pampering oneself or setting rigid personal boundaries. True self-love isn’t about protecting a small, fragile sense of self. It’s about realizing that the self is vast, boundless, and naturally includes others.

But how far can this expansion go? That’s where it gets truly fascinating. If you investigate it through experience, you’ll realize something astonishing: there is no limit!

Think about it. You start by caring for yourself, then for a small group—your family, your closest friends, your team at work. Over time, this circle can widen to include your community, your country, and even humanity as a whole. And why stop there? The more you dissolve the rigid boundaries of “me” and “mine,” the more the world feels like an extension of you. The wind, the trees, the distant stars—what if they aren’t separate but simply facets of the same grand Self?

This isn’t just poetic philosophy; it’s something you can feel. Have you ever lost yourself in a breathtaking sunset? A piece of music? The vast stillness of nature? In those moments, the individual “I” dissolves, and something more extensive and boundless takes place. That is the true Self—the one without edges, without limitations. And once you glimpse it, even for a second, the idea of being selfish in the small, conventional sense starts to seem almost absurd.

But here’s the key—this clarity, this ability to expand beyond the small self, comes from strength. A weak mind clings to its boundaries, afraid that giving to others means losing something of itself. But a strong mind knows that expansion is not depletion—it is power. True self-love isn’t fragile; it doesn’t need to build walls to protect itself. It stands firm, believing in its vastness. And just as importantly, it sees the same strength in others.

The more I trust in my own resilience, the more I see the infinite potential not just in myself but in everyone around me. And in that space, selfishness in the conventional sense starts to dissolve—not because I’m forcing myself to be selfless, but because I no longer feel small. There is no fear of scarcity, and no need to defend a narrow identity. Just a quiet, steady confidence in something much larger—a life rooted in boundless strength, connection, and joy.